I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
