i dont even know how to be here
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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