Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
