i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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