So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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