thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
