You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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