im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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