Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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