ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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