I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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