Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
