I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize