could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
as a side note pls kill me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize