dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
