pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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