I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
