I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
