I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize