i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
