You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
