dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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