take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize