Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
