The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize