My hand turned me down
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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