im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
