he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
