dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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