she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
