definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
