Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
