I think I am morally bankrupt
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
