I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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