Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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