One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
