my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
