how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
