He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
