honey bunches of taint.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
