I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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