ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
