Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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