I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
