Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
