I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
