i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
A+ Viking dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
