How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize