they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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