I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The Olympian is in my bed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
