As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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