I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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