oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
