Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
