he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
