We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
