i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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