I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
